Dear Mister. Ted Peetz I have look at the essay you wrote, “Marijuana for Medical Purposes: Is It a Dopey Idea, ” and I have found some mistakes which i want that will help you fix! I am not writing this kind of to gathering your article, but to help give you stronger examples. I have to help clear up and complete your opinions before you further your essay.
Furthermore, at the bottom from the first page in your dissertation you use the method to obtain Jo Daily, the former authorities in San Francisco, who cigarettes illegally to assist relieve her pain after chemotherapy.
Jo Daily is not a good origin for this topic. Anyone, and particularly a police officer, should be following a law. People look up to persons like Jo Daily, yet she is placing a very poor example being a law enforcement officer. On the second page in addition to the fourth paragraph, you recommend giving marijuana to children underweight with AIDS to aid increase their cravings and reduce the stress of pain. You should never mention youngsters and smoking because it could have a very negative effect on the crowd, especially parents, regardless of how strong the argument is.
You directed towards pathos but it has not been the best topic. At the beginning of your essay you started off which has a quote. You must never have a quote standalone in a paper. Instead, embed the offer into a sentence in your essay. By embedding the offer, you make your paper heading immediately. Your car or truck what you want to do, you are starting through your paper currently very awkwardly. It’s regarded a fragmented and it’s significantly less formal. It might also have a bad effect and turn into the reader away from the very beginning. “Hey man, need some pot? is just will make your daily news sound like it truly is all about cigarette smoking pot and it really does not have a good romantic relationship with the rest of the paper. Inside the first paragraph of the second page, you compare two incomparable topics, marijuana and penicillin, trying to connect it by using pathos. There are seriously no resources saying that weed can cure nevertheless penicillin is employed with many doctors to get rid of patients. Likewise, on the second page you share how Chris Woiderski would get respite from muscle spasms and pains linked to being a paraplegic.
A paraplegic is somebody who cannot think pain through the waist straight down. Lastly, you thoroughly explained how legalizing marijuana may help the sufferers with chemotherapy, kids with AIDS, and pain and stress relief and I have but to see a trustworthy sources for virtually any of these quarrels or any following up sentences to defend them. Where you got the information show positive outlooks on marijuana, however the online content articles are only a website to a webpage long. Right now there also needs to a unique source than “Online Excessive Times Journal, ” since their data is biased.
